Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Snow...how can something so beautiful bring so much sadness?

I almost feel wrong feeling bad as I have a ton of people in my life that have reached out to me.... yet I can't make the melancholy go away.

It's been a week and half since I've been able to drive. My wonderful boss and co-workers have picked me and taken me home a few times from work. This snow is ruining my enjoyment of running. I don't know how anyone can like running in layer upon layer, running slow and with a heavy camelback filled with food and a change of clothing. I HATE, HATE, HATE it. Tomorrow I am walking my tail to work. I miss the pool and the trainer is driving me nuts.

I realized today that I would not be able to spend Christmas with mother and grandparents. First my birthday and now Christmas. None of us have a form of transportation to commute is this crap. I desperately tried to find a set of chains today but everyone was sold out :(. I'll be damned if I'm stuck home alone on Christmas, come hell or high water I will make it to meet my mom, even if it does take me several house on public transportation. Christmas Eve will suck. You know, usually I'm a big fan of solitude. I don't need to be around people 24/7 and enjoy my alone time but frankly I've had enough. I feel like I've hit an all time low - loneliness at it's best. What's worst is here I am disclosing this bout of depression and weakness to the world. Awesome..... At least the sadness did some good today. I got off the phone with my mother this evening pretty upset. There wasn't anything she or I could do about it. I just stood there allowing the sadness to overcome me. I really made me angry. It was at this point I had two choices. Grab my bottle of rum and drink it until I passed out wallowing in self pitty or check out the new found apartment club house which I believed had a treadmill. I choose the second option and ran down to the clubhouse. Upon doing so I slipped on ice and fell on my right hip. I was wearing shorts (my body is getting acclimated to the cold) and now have a huge ice burn/bruise forming. What a way to hit a girl a when she's down. I got back up and walked to the clubhouse.

Tempo run 7.3 miles
10 min warm up run
5 min at 9 min pace
10 min at 7:30 pace
5 min at 9 min pace
10 min at 7:30 pace
5 min at 9 min pace
10 min at 7:30 pace

Run felt good, it's what I needed.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Where does your mom live? I have chains, and can drive you, as long as it is not, say, Seattle.

I am Jeff's friend, and I have seen you at Pain in the Park.