Tuesday, August 24, 2010


Merriam Webster's definition of Beauty-

1: the quality or aggregate of qualities in a person or thing that gives pleasure to the senses or pleasurably exalts the mind or spirit
2: a beautiful person or thing; especially : a beautiful woman
3: a particularly graceful, ornamental, or excellent quality
4: a brilliant, extreme, or egregious example or instance

When I think of the word beauty I think of good health by definition. Anything/anyone in good health is beautiful. It is colorful and lively and will provoke a smile to another person. It amazes me how something can go from beauty to ugly so quickly. When health fades confidence fades with it. What you thought you knew no longer is certain. Does beauty exist in the damaged or weak? Are we weak if we are not in good health?

Alas beauty is in the eye of the beholder, eh? Perception is an interesting take on view. We may look in the mirror to see a wilting flower while others may see a blooming rose. It's our choice what we want to perceive, right?

Does a tree fall if no one is around to hear it? Or is it a figment of your imagination?
Does pain actually exist if your pain receptors are off? Or is it an excuse to complain?

I'm pouring on the Miracle Grow trying not to wilt. Some days hurt worse than others.

Monday, August 23, 2010

Ride Into The Dark Side

Typo /grammar declaimer - this was written after a very long day and I'm sooooo tired I can't really think straight.

My crazy but highly respectable boss is riding another 600k this up coming weekend. She got a new light that will be generated off her front hub and needed to test it out before the big ride day. Of course the only way to test out this light was a 3am bike ride up and OVER the west hills to Voodoo Doughnuts and back. I opted to join her for one of two reasons. I'm scared of the dark and scared of descending (although I have gotten much better over the last few months) on their own. Combining the two is a bit of an (excuse my language) mind f***. The second reason was company. She's great at riding long distances on her own but a ride is always a little more fun with company IMO. Plus I wanted a good reason to eat a Voodoo doughnut.

2:30 am - Beep! Beep! Beep! Ugh, is it really time to get up? I feel like I just laid down for bed.

3:15am - It's wasn't as dark as I thought it would be. We're very close to a full moon. The beaming glow helped light the way.
There is nothing like a 700ish ft climb up Cornell within the first 30mins of getting out of bed to wake a girl up. Susan let me borrow her Stella light (Light & Motion) to mount on my helmet for the descent. As she's mounting the light to my helmet she points out that it is not the "sexiest" accessory. Lol! I love her random observations. Really though, who does she think I'm trying to pick up at 4am on my bicycle? The lightmade a world of difference. Woah Nelly it was dark! Dark and chilly! Descending at 20mph when I could only see a couple of feet ahead was scary. Susan was great though. She led the way and slowed down to make sure I was doing ok. I can be such a girl!

4:15am - Voodoo Time! They were fresh out of the famous Memphis Mafia and Bacon Maple Bar so we had to settle for an Old Dirty Bastard and a Raspberry filled glaze.

The Magic's In The Hole!
After proper fueling we mounted back on to our steady steeds and hit the West Hills up and over the Zoo. Going up into the Zoo was much darker than the main road we took in. I found climbing is much less difficult mentally when
1. You can't see the watts
2. You can't see the road increase in grade in front of you.
Instead I grinded away, pedal stroke after pedal stroke. The descent over the Zoo was much less scary then the ride into town. Susan showed me the bike path that parallel HWY 26. It was well lit and we straight coasted back.

5:30ish- Arrive home - bright eyed and bushy tailed. Ready to attack a full day of work!

Ride stats - 23 miles 1800ft+ elevation gain fueled by a raspberry filled glazed doughnut, part of an old dirty bastard (chocolate cake doughnut covered with PB and oreo cookie). Hydrated with coffee. This was a workout for the champs!

Have a mentioned how badass my boss/mentor is?

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Rockstar Baby

As of lately my tail end and I have not been getting along. One legged plate weight stability squats and weighted lunges are tearing my a** muscles a new one. Just tryin' to build more (eh....ok maybe just some) junk in the trunk. Buns of steel baby.

I am running again! 3-4 days a week, couple miles each day. I am running enough to sweat! Best of all I am running pain free! I'm as giddy as a school girl....and might just resemble one as I run by in my knee high compression socks and run skort.

TYR has just released a new style training Bikini - Rockstar Triangle Bikini.

My first impression was WHOA! It matches my bike! This little number is ity-bity and I was skeptical that it would "hold it all in". With TYR swimwear you should never fear. They always deliver the goods. Made out of durable DuraFast(poly) and rubber gage straps I swam with no restriction as opposed to a one-piece and what I like to call out as my circus freak long torso. Everything stayed in place, flip turn after flip turn after flip turn. I ended up modifying the upper back straps post swim. I don't think this suit was intended for use by anyone with any sort of cleavage. I'm not comfortable with swimming with exposed cleavage (who is?) so I cut the straps in the back and tied them together - so that all smashed down - NOW the suit is perfect for training.

You'll swim like rock star and you might even get some Rockstar attention! Uh, I did :)

Sunday, August 15, 2010

The Case Of The Ex

Or maybe a case of divorces.
I for one have no first hand experience - Thank God. But I have met/supported more people either going through a divorce or "recovering" from one than need be. What a nasty war to get involved in. That being said I have had my share of long term toxic relationship bs. I was in a 6 year and 3 year steady relationship at two points of time in my life. Asked to be married? Yes. Never accepted. I'm not sure if I believe in endless love from someone that's not a blood relative. I have no desire to ever marry a cousin - in case that crossed your mind. I do think you can have love for someone without being in love with them as this was the case for ex# 1 and ex# 2. Both break ups IMO were completely f***ed up....but NOTHING compared to those I have seen go through divorce. That little legal piece of paper sure holds a lot over people. The most common thing I see from people going through these hardships is their willingness and ease to put the blame on the other person. I see it as a two way street. I think if more people were accountable for their feelings then the process would go through quicker w/less conflict. But then again people are drawn to drama. So maybe we create our own. On the other hand one may be mature and the other may not and then it's a lose/lose situation. I know during my failed relationships some type of abuse was taken or received. Was it their fault for dishing it? Or my fault for accepting? We can only be accountable for ourselves...not others.

I have spent the last 4 years single. Well ok...honestly 15 months out of those 4 years being single (I'm counting in the 9 month dating w/training sabbatical I go on every year - except for this one). Over this time I have been able to cut out all the crap from my long term relationships. I know who I am and I know what I want. The problem with this is I took sooooooo long to figure this out that I'm now old. And everyone I meet is old and they all have the divorce story....so now I get to deal with everyone's toxic crap. Am I the only person that thinks you should take time off and rediscover you before falling for the next best thing?

And the endless question - does endless love exist?
I'm highly skeptical....but I do have a few (very few) good examples in my life that I can look up to. My grandpa being one. The last 10 years of my nanana's life she suffered through strokes. The woman couldn't do a thing for herself. My grandpa unselfishly took care of her. From dying her fiery Irish hair red, putting her make up on and making her feel like a woman to taking care of her and her 4 children forever...until she passed. That was true love. Maybe it's ancient history.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Inside the mind of Kat

A slightly burnt cookie still taste good with a glass of milk. A microwave will fix a stale cookie in a flash. No one ever complains about the undercooked cookie. A little sweetness goes a long way.

It's the diamond in the rough that cuts the sharpest. Do you know your own strength?

The statue is getting glued back together. One day it will stand tall beaming with health and happiness. This time around I went with the spendy stuff - the extra strength super glue. Will it hold up? Only time will tell.

Life is like a never ending puzzle. Picking up new pieces day to day. Some pieces fit now and others will fit later in time. Some pieces I don't think ever fit. Who put them in the box?

What's the difference between you and me? We have a lot more in common then one might think.

Can I help my ab addiction? What is the cure? A 6-pack?

Watered down reflections are a weakness
Reflections from a shattered mirror are destructive
Riding/running by a window pane is empowering

I want to strong, bold and smooth....like the taste of Kona Peaberry coffee brewing in the morning.

I understand life is not perfect. Why is it we can look at others and only wish we had what they have. Imperfections make perfection. I'm still working on fine tuning.

I'd like to take an elevator up to cloud 9. It's unfortunate clouds don't hold dense muscle.

I'm not one to follow horoscopes but I do believe in the characteristics of my zodiac sign. Jupiter owns me and I am fueled with fire. Standing tall on two legs my bow high is aimed high. Loud spoken and opinionated - putting some off while inspiring others. What am I?

In regards to discipline I've opted to go back to an old school approach. I visibly remember the distaste of having soap shoved in my mouth upon introduction of cursing. It lasted for hours. I've decided to write myself rules of engagement. When I break the rules I will have to pay with a bar of ivory. This will be a distasteful experiment. I'll keep you posted as to how it bubbles out.

The mind is a terrible thing to waste.....same as a good body or a good slice of cheesecake.

I don't wish to be judged I wish to be understood. Although I fear we are all misunderstood.

If I could dig though the sands of time of time I'd take back the innocence of not knowing. Through life trials and tribulations we live and learn. We have also built up an amount of resentment and fear of the future - at least I have.

And I leave you.....more than likely completely lost but not stranded,
Inside the mind of Kat

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Skirt Chaser

Mary Jane, Holly and Moi

Skirt Chaser 5k-
Goal "run easy"
Mission accomplished but much more difficult then one might think.
For instance it is REALLY hard to let a shit load of people pass by as I jogged happily along. The competitive side of holding back I think was the worst part. I really wanted to GO. My legs felt great! Thankfully I had my pride crushed long ago, so it wasn't that bad. There I ran....nice, easy and slow. My Garmin hasn't been able to pick up my HR for sometime now so I had to run off of PE. I talked casually to people and breathed through my nose. It was a pretty flat course - would have great for a PR. One short hill came along. I looked at it and thought "crap, I am not supposed to be doing hills yet." Then I remembered what I friend told me about running up hills and high knees. I felt like a toy soldier running up. I'm sure I looked uber weird....but when has that ever stopped me from anything? Got up it easily without stressing my calves. The start to this race was unique. The girls get a 3 minute lead on the boys. The boys were supposed to chase us down. The first dude passed me at mile 1. Oy! This totally made me want to sprint...but alas I stayed in my easy state. I could always tell when a dude was behind me as their breathing was really heavy. One guy passed me only to have me pass him a minute or two later. He was slouched over. I politely advised him to run tall, that it would make things easier. A nice "thanks" and onward he slouched. People are funny. Of course he sprinted past me at the end. Speaking of the finish.....I see the shoot coming up and I think "run fast." Then my coach comes into my head "you better not." So I jog in getting passed by the two HOT guys racing one another to the finish. They totally crushed my pathetic finish line photo. Oh well. Tal Es La Vida. Big ups to Skirt Sports for puting on a great, well run fun run. I finished with an easy peasy 8:15 avg. It's good to run again - w/out pain.
The lovely ladies at Skirt Sports finished the event with beer & wine (how did they know the key to my heart?) and a kick ass fashion show. I'm lovin' my Wondergirl Tank and Summer Breeze Skort.
Finished the night off with more wine and one big sausage! :)

Sunday came around and I pulled out a nice easy, mind numbingly 2k swim in the pool. Blah. I took this opportunity to daydream. In the afternoon I hit the Skyline for 2.5 hours of climbing. 2800ft in 40 miles. Managed to finish with mid Z2 power avg while my norm watts put me at high Z3. My quads are oh-so lovin me right now.

A pan of home made lasagna, two pans of manicotti, some red wine and fresh blackberries and ice cream ended the weekend well.

Friday, August 6, 2010

All good things come to those that wait

Or so the saying goes.

I am impatient. I admit it.
I eat my soup when I know it is too damn hot and will scorch my tongue.
I am honest...IMO too honest. I need to learn when to bite my tongue. Yes, the same tongue I scorched on the soup.
I eat my "fruit at the bottom" yogurt without mixing it thoroughly. Resulting in half tang half frutosis. Yes I made the word "frutosis" up. Bittersweet some might say.
A moment happens and I think "seize the moment". What I should do is take that moment to think "is it really worthing seizing?"
The mind likes to play games. Can I win? Will I lose? What will happen in between?
There are things in life we desire.
The mind has away of building a moment out of that desire turning it in to a false reality. Perception is one's reality, right? Eh, a deceitful devil it can be.
What goes around comes around. Back to honesty.
Honesty can be sweet without sugar coated when patience is practiced.

Oy - I'm now dizzy.

I am healthy and itching (in the good way) to race and jump back in the game. BUT I know it is too soon. I will reflect back on the burns, the loses and the brute honesty that has taught me patience this year. Tomorrow I will have fun, be silly and accept my PW. As for the rest of life - I will stay humbled.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Intensity IE Passion

I've been a little disappointed in my lack of desire to write. I was pretty certain I had lost all creativity. My desire that lit the eternal flame had finally been put out. BUT then came intensity! I am healthy enough that my coach is adding back in Z3/Z4/Z5 intervals on the bike and swim. Several times last week and this week I felt my creative spark. My desire to write was ignited by burning muscular pain along my racing heat beat. Trigger points are somethin' else, eh?

Anywho...I hope to be around a little more often :)

Relationships - Have really got me thinking lately. You never know how long they'll will last. Some people walk in your life only to walk out minutes later. Some people stick around longer then they are welcomed for. On a night with a blue moon we'll encounter those that will last a life time. I speak of family members, friends, co-workers, mentors and our "partner in crime". I miss those that have left too soon. Those that have stuck around too long have taught valuable life lessons.
I'll sit and wish upon a shooting star to the blue moon...
I value all relationships that I've crossed upon. The good, the bad and the ugly.
I wish I could pause time but since I can't I'll be grateful for what I have when I have it.