I'm referring to my room mate(s). For this last week (only) I have had two. I've decided to spotlight them both on this blog episode. Why? because they seriously kick ass.
I've been walking around as the "dark cloud" for the last 2-3 days and these two have been my ray of sunshine.
On night one we broke out the Crown Royal, Vodka and salted chocolate covered almonds. I had to drink, it was the only way to stop the flood gates from my eye sockets.
Mark stood on standby incase I needed a ride to the airport the next day.
On the second night, the two of them invaded my room as I was having yet another emotional breakdown- again with those damn chocolate covered almonds and this time wine. I had enough strength to decline both - mostly because I wanted to pull my head out of my ass go to work in the morning.
I do not enjoy being woken up by the random giggle/shriek outburst or rough housing (Mark!) or pot and pans being dropped around. But I can deal with it.....as they can deal w/me and my toxic negativity.
They both have listened to my whining and provided honest advice, sometimes not always requested but always appreciated. One's a cynic(although in a loving relationship) and the other an endless hopeful romantic. A defrosted heart has turned me into a combination of the two. Once a heart has fire it is hard to put the damn thing out...no matter how much water you try to drown it in. The question is how long do I let it stay submerged in h2o? Do I attempt to let the fire burn - keeping these feelings I had....going heart first in w/caution? OR do I quickly pull it out and throw it in the ice box so that it freezes over to never feel emotion again? Ok, a little bit of an exaggeration but you get the point. The last freezer drop last for 4 years!
To end one a good note -
I did make one positive step by going to work today. I'm fortunate to have such a great job and co-workers/boss.
I had a HUGE slice of molasses spice cake (Susan makes the best!) and then bought myself a pretty Prana dress - all in hopes to feel better. It worked - a little. I need a half smilie icon to put here :/ as it's still tough to bring out a full smile.
This weekend will be interesting...I'm forecasting training and drinking myself into a comma.