Sunday, February 8, 2009

I am broken

The last few runs have been worse and worse, why I thought today would be any better is beside me. The workout was a 14ish easy, pretty flat LSD run. 14 miles, that is it, should be a cake walk....but calk walk it was not. I start out easy running and chatting with friends. I can fell my left IT rubbing 2-3 miles in and if I had any sense in the world would have turned back with a few of the others. But who are we talk about here? Kat. Kat doesn't turn back, doesn't quit, Kat moves on. So on I ran. We cross over the Sellwood Bridge, the 1/2 point and I'm still feeling semi ok. Up and over and then we come across these tiny ascents and descents, normally I would consider this area pretty flat but not today. Every time elevation wold drop a hair I would receive a striking pain to my out knee. Uh oh...things are not looking good here. We get to Willamette Park and tell Alana and Pat to run on, I was in a lot of pain was going to tune it out with my Ipod. Lol, the Ipod only helped things for a very short while. The pain in my knee was now growing to my upper calf and lower hamstring, it was like a drop of water on moisture wicking fabric. WTF?! Then there was that dreadful point that I had to stop. I tried to stretch it out and start running again, this worked on and off for about 10 minutes. Then after one of my walk breaks I start to run and as soon as I put pressure on my left knee it collapsed and I fell down. AGGGGGHHHHHH! WTF?! I broke down at this point and started to cry. Now if you don't know me or this is your first read of my blog I'll fill you in on a little something. I DON'T cry. I have a HIGH tolerance for pain and can pretty much block anything out. These are things I have control over. I had no control when my muscle went out and I couldn't land with pressure on my leg. Control was eliminated....so the tears were unleashed. The next 3-4 miles I walked and hobbled back. It got to a point that I had to stop and sit on the corner of every block just to let my leg rest. Walking was excruciating. What was worse is that it was cold and I couldn't run, hence I couldn't keep my HR elevated...which means I turned into an ice pop. Each time I'd sit I'd hit my leg and scream. On the occasion I would laugh because well it's usually easier to laugh then to cry. This is all my fault. I know when the injury first happened and I continued to run on it....run after run it got worse and worse, now I'm at the point that I'm rockin a pimp lean and running is not possible. Don and Alana came to and got me a few blocks from the end. I was thankful I didn't have to walk anymore.

I'm depressed, my training week is shot to hell. I'll give my self a few days of extra rest, then swim and bike. Thankfully the bike doesn't effect it. But what kills me is that I can't run. I feel like I'm a fat kid who took a bite of cake and immediately had it taken away from me.
I think I may have my own pity party for the rest of the day...the only invites are chocolate and alcohol.

2 comments:

Michelle said...

Oh dear.You know that I can realte to this post 125%.There is nothing I can say at this point to make you feel better.I will say that PROPER rest will heal it.Obviously you ignored that and it got worse and that is where you are at now,so with that there is nothing you can do now but rest and rest and rest it.The spin bike helped me so SO much when I had to stop running because of the exact same problem. Do what you need to do just dont overindulge in the self pity too much,that just makes it worse. Sorry for the bluntness but you know I mean well....onward :)

SKMDT said...

Sorry to hear about the injury. It's not much consolation, but you've joined an illustrious group, comprised of almost everyone who has gotten into endurance sport at a high level, who has beat themselves into the ground. Heal yourself, learn from this, and kick some ass in the near future.