I finally got in to see a sports doc and had ART done today - active release therapy. It turns out I was right with the stupid IT Band, kind-of sort-of. When the injury first happened I probably tore or pulled part of the IT band that wraps around to the front/side of the tibia. I ignored the injury which resulted in massive irritation, inflammation and getting a bone stuck in the wrong place. Yea that's right, I guess muscles tightened up around where my tibia connects to my knee and locked something into place, this probably happened during my 14 miler when I ended up collapsing on that leg but who really knows for sure. What we do know is my bone is stuck is some toxic/damaged muscle mass and is making me hurt and limp....so the solution is to un-stick it. You were right Seth :) well, with the something stuck unstick part.
The doc kept telling me to rank my pain as he massaged...and a sick twisted part of me held back from disclosing the true ranking. It hurt, it hurt pretty damn bad....probably along the lines of a 9 or 10 but all I could spit out was a 7 maybe 8. I was enjoying the pain and didn't want it to stop. It wasn't the annoying throbbing and stabbing pain I've been experiencing mid-night, during swims or when I first get up to walk. Instead it was this deep soothing burn that I had been longing for. God, I miss training. After the deep massaging I got an ultra sound done on the area and then iced for 10 mins, at this point my leg was uber pissed off. As I'm writing this my leg is still uber pissed off. I've been given instructions to ice 10 min every hour or so, do a specific deep tissue calf stretch and REST. Mother$&&$# haven't I rested long enough? I was instructed not to run or bike until I get into see the doc again, which will be this Monday. Ugh...that puts me at 14 days of now lower body cardio, this is killing me.
I'm trying to stay positive. I know that if I don't allow this to heal I will be seriously messed up all season and all my goals will take a dive down the porcelain god we all crap upon. It's very difficult though...I feel like I'm missing out on everything. I feel like someone has reached inside and gutted out my heart. Blah. I have so many aggressive goals for this year and I feel them slipping away. I once inquired about the amount of training, speed/intensity work I'd need to do to hit my time goals for Canada. The response was to stay healthy and keep my endurance up - I was already well within my time goal limits. Then why the %^#$^ am I stressing? I have this...I just have to rest. Resting is such a mind %$#@ I feel like I'm on taper....we all know how that goes.
Back to being positive. I bought the bike last week, a new car has been on my list for some time so I think I will buy one this weekend. I'm trying to fill up my whole weekend with positive things so that I don't end up downing a couple bottles of wine or a fifth of Crown Royal which both sound rather appeasing at this moment. Tomorrow I thought I'd start my day off right by joining my boss for a morning swim before work. I'll try to allocate every hour of my weekend with productive rest, if that is possible.
BTW, I would like to thank all my friends, far and near....my family and family from work. Everyone has been so supportive, I don't know what I would do without you all.
Inside the mind of Kat...enter at your own risk.
3 comments:
I know it sucks not to be able to work out, but trust the docs on this one. Working out will just delay how long before you are 100% again and can really crank out the training miles.
Enjoy the rest. Have fun with it and maybe throw in some extra core/upper body work that you wouldn't have time for otherwise. It will help you keep buys and keep your mind off your IT band too.
Good luck with the recovery!
Indeed, like sbrtv said it sucks to cut it back - but three months from now you'll be thanking yourself that nothing is hurting and you're able to go long.
Hang in there!
(((((Katie))))) I am sending many many good thoughts your way. I know how awful this is for you. But I wanted to share something from my own past in the hopes that it might help you through this dark time. The first Ironman I trained for I ended up injured and sick. I had overtrained and also was so anemic my doctor was recommending a blood transfusion. I watched all of my friends and training partners drive away to Ironman Canada when I had my race number in hand, sobbing my eyes out. It felt like the end of my world.
But you know, that was over 15 years ago and while that season SUCKED and the road to recovery was hard, I did recover and have gone on to have many many great triathlon seasons since then. When I finally got to finish my first Ironman, 15 years later, it was so sweet largely because of that terrible experience. And you know what? My time at age 40 was faster than I was shooting for that first time I trained. So it wasn't really the end of anything but the beginning.
I hope you can give yourself the gift of time to heal, even when I know that gift doesn't come easily. You will come back stronger and faster than ever, and you will look back on this time as a time when you were mentally tried and you came through. You can draw on this for strength in your future.
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