Hollow

1: having an indentation or inward curve : concave, sunken
2 : having a cavity within "a hollow tree"
3 : lacking in real value, sincerity, or substance

This word describes my state of being...

I feel like I am in the eye of a tornado. Everything is swirling around me, my head is spinning.....yet I am in the calm of the storm - emotionless. I have been drowning in this pool of sorrow for some time now. Occasionally I tried to fight the flood and allow a helping hand....but now it's too far and I'm in quick sand. No more tears will fall, I am numb. I am now rebuilding, to be fiercer and stronger than before. This wall will not come down, not now, no way no how.

I'm at lost with my training. I'm not seeing/making the progression I'd like to see. I'm confused about my competitive side and really what I want to see out of myself. I think I have finally found a coach that will help me - "Be all that I can be".